Adam Sandler Follow

[Sounds of Basketball being shot around]Sandler: "Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult."Allen: "Now, that's ridiculous."Sandler: "Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta sign up too."Allen: "What are you talking about?"Sandler: "Hey, don't f**k me on this, man, just sign up."Allen: "No, I'm not going to join a cult!"Sandler: "I can't believe you're pulling this shit on me after Mondaynight --"Allen: "What?Sandler: "-- I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted towatch that other show and we watched your show -- I did that for you!"Allen: "Yeah, well, you kept flippin' back to the game."Sandler: "I WANTED TO SEE THE F**KIN' SCORE! Whadda you gotta do that'sso f**king importnat you can't join the religious cult with me?"Allen: "Well, I was gonna go sunbathing."Sandler: "Oh, boy, no no, I don't think you should do that. Because thisguy, Russell -- he's the leader-guy of the cult --"Allen: "-- yeah --"Sandler: "-- he was rambling on during one of the speeches about the sunbeing bad, like the beast can't come out because the sun's too brightand the sun hurts his eyes or something -- you show up all sunburned andthat guy's gonna get pissed at you and me!"Allen: "Well, I'm not in the cult, so I don't have to worry aboutpissing the leader guy off!"Sandler: "Look, I'm -- starting to believe in some of the stuff the cultguy's been saying -- some of it makes a lot of sense!Allen: "Well, good, but I don't want to join the cult. We can still hangout; I just won't be in it with you."Sandler: "The point is, I'm not gonna have time to hang out with youbecause I'm gonna be f**kin' busy with this f**kin' cult!"Allen: "So I'll visit on weekends -- we'll work it out."Sandler: "No, the weekends are like the busiest time -- that's when wego to flea malls and f**kin' malls and talk people into joining, man!"Allen: "Can I join for just a little while? I told my dad I'd go visithim in Florida in three weeks."Sandler: "Well, just, we'll ask then, but we gotta join now."Allen: "What's the hurry?"Sandler: "There's a girl I wanna meet there, what the f**k's yourproblem?"Allen: "Well, I mean I don't really have to believe in this stuff, doI?"Sandler: "No, no, just f**kin' tell everybody you believe in this shit-- when they say the sun sucks, go, "Yeah, f**k the sun, I f**kin' hateit too, long live the f**kin' beast."Allen: "I don't know, man. This is crazy."Sandler: "Look, they're gonna give you clothers, a free haircut, you'regonna get food --"Allen: "-- it's not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?"Sandler: "It's gonna be a haircut, all right? You said you need ahaircut, they're gonna f**kin' cut your hair. You're going in, savingtwelve bucks, just f**kin' do it!"Allen: "Do you think the hot girl has a friend for me?"Sandler: "Yeah, sure, and if she doesn't, she'll go out and recruit onefor you!"Allen: "Well, all right. But, hey, if I don't like it, I'm going toescape, man."Sandler: "OK, that's up to you.""Three weeks later!"[Chanting repeatedly] "The night time is the right time! The night timeis the right time!"Sandler: "Hey buddy, are you glad you did this?"Allen: "Oh, this is the best thing I ever did. Thank you."Sandler: "You're not mad at them making you, uh, kill your father, areyou?"Allen: "You know, it's like they said. It was the only way to save him."Sandler: "You're a good guy."Allen: "You're a better one."[Chanting resumes]