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I got a ho from the east
I got a ho from the west
Got a ho that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest

I got a bitch from the north
Got a bitch from the south
Got a bitch that likes to suck it long and hold it in her mouth

I got a bitch with hair
A bitch with none
A bitch with a knife
A bitch with a gun
A bitch with a ass big as a TV set
And there's a bitch over there
Hey, the one I'm gonna get

But yo but maybe not
She might not like me though
No sweat to a vet
I rock her sister though
Word
I'll rock the whole damn herd
Fuck 'em all and leave 'em on the kerb

I got a bitch with a mink
Who rocks a fat gold Linc
Who likes to fuck me with her ass up on the kitchen sink

I got a bitch with tits
A bitch with ass
A bitch with none
But hey I give her a pass

And I love 'em all
I love 'em crazily
And they love me back
That's why they stay with me

So if you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one
Hit me

99 problems and a bitch ain't one
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one

Got a bitch that's old
A bitch that's new
A bitch who loves velvet and the colours blue

I got a bitch that's fat
A bitch that's built
A bitch who all the titties give out powdered milk

I got a bitch who's funny
A bitch who ain't
A bitch that can sing
A bitch who cain't

I got a bitch that loves fucking on a airplane
I even got a bitch off Soul Train

I got a bitch who rolls ragtop Benz
Long ends
I got a bitch who's broke as a bum
But she's the most fun

I got a bitch that plays piano
A bitch who don't
A bitch that dances naked
A bitch that won't
A bitch who's short
A bitch who's tall
A bitch who burns my phone out with priority calls

And I love 'em all
I love 'em crazily
And they love me back
That's why they stay with me

So if you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one
Hit me!

99 problems and a bitch ain't one
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one

I got a bitch that loves the G
She'll fuck you right after she fucks me
I got a bitch that loves boats
I got a bitch who loves handcuffs and ropes

I got a bitch that's fast
A bitch that's slow
A bitch that's a virgin
And a bitch that's a ho
A bitch that lies
A bitch that's true
A bitch who's a man, because your bitch is too

I got a bitch that's cool
A bitch that's hot
A bitch who loves rap
A bitch who loves rock
A bitch who's lost and one who knows where it's at
She gets up on to me and purrs like a cat

I got a bitch that runs
A bitch that walks
A bitch that yells
A bitch that talks
A bitch that's dirty
A bitch that's neat
A super fine bitch that I knocked at the swap meet

And I love 'em all
I love 'em crazily
And they love me back
That's why they stay with me

So if you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one
Hit me

99 problems and a bitch ain't one
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one