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Have you heard the news
Captain Bob, he don't pay no dues, ah
You know he's lookin' in my window
He's steppin' on my toes
Don't want the truth and it goes to show

I got a joker up my sleeve
I know what to believe
It ain't right just because
It's in black and white

Find yourself a hero
Treat him like a friend
You build him up and tear him down again
Tear him down again
It don't hold a candle, hold it to the light
Check it out, is it wrong or right

Well, is this the news of the world
It's just a pretty girl
She's all the news that's fit to print
In black and white

Inside information, taken down note by note
A silent footstep, that's all she wrote
Shit, that's all she wrote
You got no need to worry
The baby's gone to bed
Dreaming dirty dreams in black and white and red
Aah aah

Well, now I got nothing to fear
Is this the scoop of the year
Headlines on my bathroom wall
In black and white, hey

I got a joker up my sleeve
It's so hard to believe
It ain't right just because
It's in black and white
Black and white

Have you heard the news
Captain Bob, he don't pay no dues, ah