Judy Kaye & Jason Graae Follow

I'm watching and waiting.
(Hello, Sam! Hello, Joe!)
I'm waiting and watching.
(Hello, Max! Hello, Bob! Hello, Jasper!)
I hope and I yearn...
(Hello, Bill! Hello, Phil!)
...just for his return.
(Hello, fellas!)
Thanks for the present of the silver blue mink.
Thanks for the plane and the ice skating rink.
Thanks for the yacht and for the solid gold sink.
Thanks a lot, but no thanks.

Thanks for the Scrabble set with platinum board.
Thanks for the factory once known as Ford.
Thank you for finding me the famous "lost chord."
Thanks a lot, but no thanks.

For I am just a faithful lassie
Waiting for her faithful lad.
And there's no gift, however classy,
By which this lassie can be had.

Thanks for the banks and for the Santa Fe line.
Thanks for the darling uranium mine.
But I'm a gal with only one valentine.
Thanks a lot, but no thanks.

Thanks for the champagne.
And thanks for the state of Maine.
And thanks for the autographed picture of John Wayne.
Thanks a lot, but no thanks.

Thanks for the cruise
And thanks for the oil weels that ooze.
And thanks for that pair of Fred Astaire shoes.
Thanks a lot, but no thanks.

For I am just a faithful lassie
Waiting for her faithful lad.
And there's no gift, however classy,
By which this lassie can be had.

Thanks for losing your mind.
Thanks for Fort Knox sealed and signed.
But I've got a guy who's Clifton Webb and Marlon Brando combined.
Thanks a lot, but no, no thanks.

((These are additional lyrics from another version)):
You can woo me
And pursue me,
But there's no pay-off,
So lay-off!
'Cause I'm true no matter what.
Thanks a lot, but no thanks.
Thanks a lot, but no thanks.