MC Paul Barman Follow

It's true, most of the time in class
I was tempted to 'fool around' man
Yeah, that's what it was, yeah
You'd be bored
You figure, well, why not deprive
Someone else of their education'

I may be kidding
School's just babysitting
I knew girls in AP classes knitting
So tedious
Homework is tell major lies
Or plagiarize encyclopedias

So boring
Fresh-faced teachers
Want to tickle 'em
But a test-based curriculum
Excludes exploring
I'll let a mystery gas

Out of my blistery ass
Just to disrupt the misery
Of history class
And to entertain your tender brain
When your pain is the same
As a fender bender with a train

Analyze the engines
If you gotta goata the rhododendrons
Cut class then serve detentions
Say toodle-oo to the trimmed poodles who
Will grow up to be the adults you now hate

I know what's futile too
Like throwing a spear at Choate
I'm not here to gloat
I want to be used as your yearbook quote
Abolish class rank

Pour sugar in its gas tank
Weighted grades really yank my ass crank
And stop up my leak hole
English and autoshop should be equal
Anyway an A is a weak goal

So stultifying
It's hard to hold off dying
I'm spying on a lobbyist
It's obvious

Double teachers' salaries and hire smarter
Discard the farters who only inspire fire starters
What is the meaning of C.L.A.S.S.?
Is it a Conspiracy leveled At Sleepy
Students trying to pass?

Make like a whirlybird
And graduate early word
Or pull all the stops out
Make the proprietors of a mom
And pop shop's eyes pop out

And drop out
When I yawn it's hard to hold in drool
Drawn dreams of a molten pool
Of magma rock raining Ragnarok
On the whole dang school
Scenes of the old and fool

Ish and possibly cruel
Administrators being told
The Golden Rule while rolled in stool
Superficial superintendent
Repainting the facade and banister
I'm going to switch your contact lens vial
For a Drosophilia Melanogaster cannister

I found college awkward
Another teacher, same old chalkboard
I felt I was shifting bawkward
When I expected to shoot forward
Could I possibly have been more bored?
Realistically, a stressful sideways

Still skipping readings
Still waiting for Fridays
School was so damn boring
It left me colder than the o-ring
Which would not expand and
Destroyed the USS Challenger in 1986

An overhaul is long
Overdue I'm 0 for 2
If so are you
Catch the fever from Wallace Shawn
To destroy school 'til all is gone