Stephen Colbert Follow

There are cynics; there are skeptics.
There are legions of dispassionate dyspeptics.
Who regard this time of year as a maudlin insincere
Cheesy crass commercial travesty of all that we hold dear

When they think that,
Well, I can hear it.
But I pity them their lack of Christmas spirit.
For in a world like ours, take it from Stephen:
There are much worse things to believe in.

A redeemer, and a Savior, an obese man giving toys for good behaviour.
The faith in what might be, and the hope that we might see
The answer to all sorrow in a box beneath the tree.

Find them foolish,
Sentimental,
Well, you're clearly none too bright,
So we'll be gentle.
Don't even try to start vaguely conceivin'
Of all the much worse things to believe in.

Believe in the judgment, believe in Jihad,
Believe in a thousand variations on a dark and spiteful God
You got your money, you got your power,
You got your science, and the planet's going to end within the hour.
You got your dreams that don't come true.
You got the ones that do

Then you got your nothin';
Some folks believe in nothin'.
But if you believe in nothin',
Then what's to keep the nothin' from comin' for you?

Merry Christmas -- Happy New Year!
Now if you'll forgive me, there's a lot to do here.
There are stockings still unhung,
Colored lights I haven't strung,
And a one-man four-part Christmas carol waiting to be sung.

Call me silly, call me sappy,
Call me many things, the first of which is happy
You doubt, but you're sad.
I don't, and I'm glad.
I guess we're even.
At least that's what I believe in.

And there are much worse things.