Crabs Walk Sideways lyrics

Smothers Brothers
Crabs Walk Sideways
It Must Have Been Something I Said

Tom: Oh great lovers of the world lend me thy ears! Where has love rot? Love has wrought beauty. Love is the world. The world is love and the great lovers of the world have made the Earth a very precious, beautiful, and lovely place. Where is the love? Tell me. [whispering] Say, "It's there." [aloud, alone] It's there!

[audience laughs]

Tom: Oh where is the love?
Audience: It's there.
Tom: Where is the love?!
Audience: [louder] It's there.

Tom: Do you know where the love is?
Dick: It's there, Tom. It's all around you. Love is everywhere. Love is ever changing, ever growing, ever moving. Love is passionate, it is flowing and sweet. It is wonderful. Love is compassion. Love is... love is God.

Tom: This is the song of two lovers.
Dick: Right. Two great lovers.
Tom: Not world-famous lovers. Not a Romeo and Juliet.
Dick: No.
Tom: Not that type of a love. Two people whose love was an unrequitted love.
[audience twittering]
Tom: Unrequited love.
[more laughter]
Tom: A very beautiful love. A love that very few people ever hear of. It's the story of Herman and Sally.
[audience laughs]
Dick: [quietly] They've heard the story.
Tom: You've heard of them, huh?
[audience laughs]
Tom: Herman was a lobster, and Sally was a crab. [guffaws]
[audience laughs]
Tom: It'll never work out that way, will it! Ha ha ha.

Tom:
Herman met Sally on the beach one night,
Tom & Dick:
The sea was calm and the starfish were bright.
He looked at her and she looked at him
And it was true love at first sight.

Well, Herman told his folks about the girl that he found,
Dick:
And they said, "Herman,
Tom:
"there must be other girls around.
Dick:
"'Cause
Tom & Dick:
"crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight,
"And we won't let you take her for your mate."

Tom: Everybody sing now!

Tom & Dick:
"Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight,
Dick:
"And we
Tom & Dick:
"won't let you take her for your mate."

Tom: Where is love.
Audience: It's there.
Tom: Try singing like that.
[audience laughs]

Tom: Poor Herman and poor Sally. Whence did their love wents wrong? Oh the bittersweet pain of love's nectar. Yes, Herman, though he loved Sally, could not marry her, could not have her for his own. Herman was a lobster, Sally was a crab. Herman lived in a restricted neighborhood. So he had to make a decision. And Herman made a decision, which was sad and very hard for him to do, but then, being a lobster, Herman had no backbone.

Well, Herman told Sally and it broke her heart
Tom & Dick:
She had loved that lobster right from the start
He took her in his claws and said, "I'll always be yours,
"But still, we really have to part."

Tom:
Sally said, "Let's talk to your mom and your dad,
I'll show them crabs really aren't that bad."
Tom & Dick:
They turned her away, "What will the neighbors say!"
And they laughed at the funny walk she had.

Tom: [stomping sideways] Two! Three! Four!

Tom & Dick:
"Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight,
"And we won't let you take her for your mate."

Dick:
Time had made...
Tom: Sing out friends, now!

Tom, Dick, & Audience (All):
Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight,
And we won't let you take her for your mate.

Tom: Once again, gang!

Dick:
Oh,
All:
Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight,
And we won't let you take her for your mate.

Dick:
They say,
Tom: One more time now!

All:
Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight,
And we won't let you take her for your mate.

Dick:
One day on a sandbar what did Herman see
But his little ol' Sally walking straight as can be.
He said, "Sally, I can take you in my family!"
She said, "Herman!
Tom:
"Don't you sweetheart me! *Hic*!"

Tom & Dick:
Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight,
And we won't let you take her for your mate!