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Quite often I get a thinking
How as kids we got by
Like christmas time in our house
We couldn't even afford a fire

But we made do in our house
Back then when I was young
Dad used to suck a peppermint
And we'd all sit round his tongue

We couldn't afford no tinsel
On our christmas tree
So we'd just wheel old grandad in
And make the old cunt sneeze...atchoo

Wheel him round the other side granny...atchoo

Well things change so bloody fast
I got children now of me own
Now I heard 'em unwrap their presents
Last night when I got home

Santa claus you cunt
Where's my fucking bike
I've unwrapped all this other junk
There's nothing what i like

I've wrote you a letter
And i've come to see you twice
You geriatric wanker
Where's my fucking bike

If i wanted a pair of fucking shoes
I would've fucking asked
This cowboy suit and ping-pong set
You can stick right up your arse

You went and mucked my order up
It's enough to make you spew
It's not just me that's pissed off
My sister's cheesed off too

Santa claUs you cunt
Where's my fucking pram
You promised me you fucking cunt
You know who I am

'Cos I'm the little girl
You made sit right on your hand
Never mind your ho ho ho
Where's my fucking pram

Next time i go to see him
I'm gonna punch him in the guts
Set his fucking reindeer loose
Kick rudolf in the nuts

Just you wait til next year
'Til we get to that store
A mate of my little sister
'll come stomping through that door

Hey mums and dads just check his breath
And watch his bloodshot eyes
Don't listen to him boys and girls
'Cos he tells fucking lies

He's a pisstake and a pervert
He's not even fucking bright
'Cos that fucking wanker
Forgot my fucking bike

Hey santa claus you cunt
Where's my fucking bike
I've unwrapped all this other junk
There's nothing what I like

I wrote you a fucking letter
And I came to see you twice
You geriatric wanker
Forgot my fucking bike

Yeah I'm gonna tell my dad on you
Fucking punch your head in....cunt
I saw mummy sucking santa