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Why does every princess get the bird? It's just absurd
I've never heard a test so difficult to pass
Alas, a lass is what I lack, I lack a lass, alas alack

Through out the land, no one may wed
Till Dauntless shares his marriage bed
The lonely spinster's life
Go and get the prince a royal wife

We have an opening for a princess
For a genuine certified princess
Tell us when you intend to end this dilemma we're in
None of the ladies give a fig for living in sin

We have an opening for a princess
For a beautiful, bonafide princess
Where's the dutiful knight
Who'll right all the wrongs we've been done?

None of the ladies are having any fun
What to do? What to do?
What to do? What to do?
Pity the ladies in waiting

Pity the gentlemen too, four, six, eight
Ten, eleven, twelve, contenders in a row
They came, they were tested
Then swiftly requested to go

For a princess
For a genuine certified princess
Tell us when you intend to send us a girl who can pass
And get the price a royal wife

None of the ladies are having any
No one is having any
No one is getting any younger
And it's been God-knows-how-long since

We have an opening for a princess
Who's good enough, nice enough
Sweet enough, smart enough
Rich enough for our poor prince

Why does every princess get the bird? It's just absurd
I've never heard a test so difficult to pass