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And the snow begins to fall
And my grandma makes her gingerbread cookies
Just across the hall

I'm freakin' 'bout what to get you
Then it suddenly occurs to me
The best Christmas present is to rock your body
Underneath the fuckin' tree

I wanna rock you hard this Christmas
I wanna fill your stockin' with my candy cane of joy
We'll have a very merry motherfuckin' Christmas
I'll drive the love train down Santa Claus lane
I'm your little drummer boy

While the eggnog is all noggy
And the fireplace all aglow
While our bodies are heatin' up in Yuletide
Places down below

I hope you like my present
It was way too big to wrap
I'm gonna get naughty all over your body
Come sit on Santa's lap

I wanna rock you hard this Christmas
I wanna fill your stockin' with my candy cane of joy
We'll have a very merry motherfuckin' Christmas
We'll drive the love train down Santa Claus lane
I'm your little drummer boy

We'll be slushin' like snow angels 'til the mornin'
We won't hear the reindeer hoofin' up above
We won't hear Santa comin' down the chimney
We won't see he and my grandma makin' hot-ass cookie love
But we'll hear him exclaim as he rides out of sight
He'll fuckin' say

Granny I rocked you hard this Christmas
I filled your stockin' with my candy cane of joy
So have a very merry motherfuckin' Christmas

And the world will start rejoicin'
And the choir boys start to sing dominus tannenbaum
And the lords a-leapin' give the ladies in waitin'
Their five ass golden rings

And the seven pipers are pipin'
The eight maids are milkin' in the snow
And I'll be happy when I'm gettin' unwrappied
By my Christmas ho, ho, ho
(Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho)

Have a very merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Peace on earth, we are the world and frickin' 'Kumbaya'
Have a very merry motherfuckin' Christmas
Deck the halls with your Christmas balls
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, fa, la, la

And the snow begins to fall
And my grandma makes her gingerbread cookies