Dave's True Story Follow

I've an appetite for fiction
No post-modern work can slake
I refuse to buy a book
Unless it's thicker than a steak
Now Gordon Lish and Barry Hannah
Have their partisans and shills
But I prefer Victoriana
For my literary thrills

And of all the British authors
Who were writing at that time
There's one special British author
I find especially sublime
Now Austen is awesome
And Dickens is a kick
But no one packs a wallop
Quite like Trollope
Yes Trollope is the one I most adore
But my days of reading Trollope are no more

I was sitting in a quaint cafe
With a favorite tome and some cafe au lait
But my luck ran out when you came my way
Now I'll never read Trollope again

You spied the cover as you slithered near
And said "The 1800s--that's my favorite year."
And then you sat right down and now I fear
That I'll never read Trollope again

Armed with Trollope and a cup or two
I could while the day away
Now just a dollop
Makes me think of you
And that's too high a price to pay

I'll read Kafka's tale about that lonely vermin
I'll read every Jonathan Edwards sermon
Hell, I'll read Emmanuel Kant in German
But I'll never read Trollope again

I used to read him with a friend or two
I used to read him by myself
But to read him now only makes me blue
So I've tossed him from my shelf

I'll read Don Quixote five or six times through
I'll read Jackie Collins till my face turns blue
Hell, I'll even read Bukowski too
But I'll never read Trollope again
No I'll never read Trollope again