Eric Rockwell & Joanne Bogart Follow

Abby:
Did I put out enough?
Did I give all I could?
We had caviar and bellinis,
Crudités and fried zucchinis,
And those little cocktail weenies, oh those are good!

Did I put out enough?
Quick! Break out the champagne!
Take the time to smell the roses,
Live it up and thumb your noses...
Before life goes down the drain!

Yes, it's more than enough...
When you just entertain!

Narrator:
(Spoken) Mr. Jitters enters in full drag, wearing a red gown and a huge feathered headdress!

Abby:
(Spoken) Why, jumpin' Jehova! She's just one of the girls!

Mr. Jitters:
(Spoken) Well, I am what I am! I took your advice and I put a little more mascara on... And, why, I feel so good I just want to spread it around a little! The rent is free!

William:
(Spoken) In that case, I'll pay the rent!

Juney-Fae:
(Spoken) Thank you, Abby!

Abby:
(Spoken) Well, my work here is done... So long, dearies!

Narrator:
(Spoken) Abby leaves aboard the happiness express!

FINALE:

Mr. Jitters, Juney-Fae and William:
Oh, please don't go, Abby!
Don't you know, Abby...
We'll fall apart if you go away! (Go away, go away, go away!)

We don't have a shred of pride ourselves...
When you're gone, we're just beside ourselves...
We could never fill the bill ourselves...
If you go, we'll have to kill ourselves!

Narrator:
(Spoken) Dance break!

He leaps!

She leaps!

Leap together!
Leap together!

Abby returns after her 40th and final costume change of the show...

Mr. Jitters, Juney-Fae and William:
We're queer for... Dear Abby!
Is that clear, Abby?
Don't ever go away!

Narrator:
(Spoken) The audience, led by gay men, rises to their feet!

Mr. Jitters, Juney-Fae and William:
Abby!
Abby!
Abby!
Ah!