Eric Rockwell & Joanne Bogart Follow

Big Willy:
(Spoken) Hey, that's my girl!
Well, I'll just go and get her... or...
It's a puzzlement...

If I get her, I'll have to stay
If not, I'll be on my way

Should I stay or should I go?
Is it yes or is it no?
To be or not to be?
It's time for my soliloquy!

(Spoken) She can't tie me down, I gotta see the world!

If I go, I'll be free to ramble
To drink and cuss and gamble
Showin' how manly I am
Got more girls than the king of Siam

Still, if I stay, I can have lots of corn
Corn from night 'til morn!

(Spoken) Say, maybe that's too much corn... Besides, it's hard work to live on a farm

There's chores, like milkin' ol' Bessy
A-kickin' and a-squirtin' round the place
I sho be lookin' all messy
With a pound and a half o' cream upon my face!

(Spoken) All my carnival friends'd miss me!
The strong man... this'd hit him like a ton of bricks!
The siamese twins... it'd tear them apart!
And what about all them perty girls?!

As a carnival barker, I could strut and flirt
With my muscles a-ripplin' in my tight striped shirt
There's many a way to jilt a girl
I'd love 'em and leave 'em on the Tilt-o-Whirl!

Now, that ain't too darn bad
No, that ain't too darn bad

(Spoken) Aha! the bearded lady... almost got me to marry her... That was a close shave!
Well, maybe it's time I settle down... June sure is perty...
We could have a son! I'd name him after me!

I'd teach him to wrestle and play
Some fellers might call it silly
For a big guy like me to stay home all day
Playin' with my own little Willy

(Spoken) Well! So what?

I gotta decide, I cain't stay torn
I'll pop the question if she'll pop the corn
I swear by an elephant's eye
I'll say 'I do' or die!

...Or should I?