The Burning Hotels Follow

Lived a man named William Bloat
And he had a wife, oh the bane of his life
For she always got his goat
And one day at dawn, with his nightshirt on
He slit her wrinkled throat

Now, he was glad he had done what he had
As she lay there stiff and still
'Til suddenly awe of the angry law
Filled his soul with an fearful chill
And to finish the fun so well begun
He decided himself to kill

Then he took the sheet from his wife's cold feet
And he twisted it into a rope
And he hanged himself from the pantry shelf
'Twas an easy end, let's hope
With his dying breath while facing death
He solemnly cursed the Pope

Now the strangest turn of the whole concern
Is only just beginning
Though he went to hell, his wife got well
Yeah she's still alive and sinning
For the razor blade was German-made
But the rope was Belfast linen

Lived a man named William Bloat
And he had a wife, oh the bane of his life