Demetri Martin Follow

I'm gonna tell you a story about Johnny.
Johnny was the...very rough boy and he didn't want to listen to his mother and he didn't want to eat his milk. That was the biggest problem: no drink milk, no meat. And he got me so mad and I tell him "One of those day, you gonna shrink and shrink and become so small, nobody can be able to see you." So one day coming back from school he went upstairs to put his sweater to go and play. And, uh, he started shrink and shrink and shrink, he came so small that when the cleaning lady came he couldn't see Johnny. So the way she was sweeping, he sweep Johnny and dump him in the garbage pail. He started screaming, he say, "I'm Johnny, don't do it!" But he was so small and the voice was so low the cleaning lady can't hear. The next day the garbage went in the truck, and the truck was going far, far away, and Johnny got caught on a branch. On the branch was a nest of a little birdie. So the...Johnny was crying and the bir...birdie say, "Why you crying Johnny. Why you crying little boy?" "Because I'm hungry." He said, "Well I have something to give you, I have a worms." Johnny said "Hgh, I don't like that." Then he started crying. So he said, "You better eat it because that's all I have." He say, "I just can't eat it, I don't like it." So the birdie felt sorry, and he opened his wing, he went on his wing to go with Johnny, and they went far away. From far away they recognized the house. So, "Take me down, that's my house!" He went down, he went to the house and from then on he ate everything.
The name was Johnny.