Demetri Martin Follow

Taking advantage of people when they’re vulnerable results in bad karma
[That’s true]

There is a cost to anything that is worthwhile in life.
[I hope it don’t cost too much, oh]

When starting an adventure, be prepared for a long period of putting in before you can begin taking anything out
[I will, I will, thanks for the advice]

Stamina can be your best trait, because it can help you weather the storms
[It’s like a raincoat made of fabric, emotional fabric]

In business, if you give a little bit more for a little bit less, you are more likely to stay in business
[If you’re selling pizza give a bigger slice for the same price that would be nice]

When you see a behavior in a person that you don’t like, chances are you will be seeing it again; keep your distance.
[I will, all the douche bags please back off]

When it comes to dating and marriage, the good news is you only need one
[Hope I get a hot one]
That’s what I tell all the kids who are fretting, you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend I say I know it’s tough but you know you only need one so
[Break it down Lillian]
keep working at it. It’s not like you need to get a new one every week
[it’s the numbers game, you only need one maybe two]

Be careful who you step on going up the ladder, because you’ll need them on the way down
[I’ll avoid the ladders of the corporate kind]

Every organization takes on the character of it’s leader
[Uh-oh, America]

You need to be a friend to have a friend
[Unless you’re really cool, that’s a loophole]

All good deeds are rewarded, but we may not like the time table
[Want it now karma, now now]

I don’t believe that nice guys finish last
[They finish somewhere in the middle, maybe near the front, definitely not the last place]

Slow and steady will get you there a lot faster
[Like the turtle or a fat guy on a moped, going place to place]

Your best quality is your worst quality
[Unless you’re a pedophile]

Finally, the golden rule says it all
[Golden people rule!]