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Please call a doctor, I've been so depressed
That I think that I'm finally breakin'
I can't quite explain, I can't feel any pain
But I know that this time I'm not fakin'

Oh oh, what can it be, oh oh, inside of me

I saw my doctor he said, "Man you look sick"
He said, "I think you better do something quick"
He checked me over and he said I was fit
"What you need is a change, have a shave, find a chick"

Your body functions but your hair's a disgrace
You shouldn't let it hang all over your face
Change your image 'cos you look out of place
Comb your hair, put on weight, try to look up to date

Why don't you put in some permanent waves?
You'll look smooth, you'll look cool, you'll be laughing
You'll get lots of dates, you'll be made, you'll get laid
You'll get out and about, you'll be laughing

Oh oh, you'll be okay, once you get those permanent waves
Do your permanent waves, oh oh permanent waves

I was really up but now I'm down once again
I went out walking and it started to rain
My perm washed out, it just got flushed down the drain
My neurosis returned, I'm a wreck once again

And wait 'til I get back my permanent waves
I'll be cool, I'll be smooth, I'll be laughing
I'll be all the rage in my permanent waves
And I'll start a new craze, I'll be laughing

Oh oh, I'll be okay once I get permanent waves
Oh permanent waves, oh oh permanent waves