Original London Cast Follow

CARACTACUS
Oh, well, that's all I need. Folk Dancing!

DANCERS
5-4-3-2-1

CARACTACUS
Help

DANCERS
Here we go
Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo
You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo.
You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo
But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo

A gentleman's got a walking stick.
A seaman's got a gaff.
And the merry men of Robin Hood
They used a quarterstaff.
On the Spanish plains inside their canes
They hide their ruddy swords.
But we make do with an old bam-boo
And everyone applauds!
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - Hey!
Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo
You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo.
You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo
But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo.

Chorus:
When punting on the beautiful Thames

Caractacus:
You use a sturdy pole.

Chorus:
To protect their fair complexion

Caractacus:
Ladies use a parasol.

Chorus:
It's useful in the underbrush

Caractacus:
To have a hefty spear.

Chorus:
Right!

All:
But what we do with an old bam-boo
Makes everybody cheer!
1 - 2 - 3 - HO!
Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo
You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo
You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo
But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo

DANCERS (VARIOUS)
Have a go mate

Look out

Watch where you're putting that pole

'Ere we go

You'll love this bit

ALL
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - HEY!
And a 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - and a 5 and a 6 and a 7 HO!
Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo
You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo.
You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo
But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo.
You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo!